When life gets turned upsidedown
by Batman-Kicks-Butt
Summary: What if Prue's death had a worse effect on everyone than we thought? Piper is a bimbo, Phoebe is fat, Paige is a nerd, Leo spends all of his time in Las Vegas and little Wyatt is planning world domination. Hmm...


I do not own charmed…yet & I mean no offence to anyone.

Hey, BatmanKicksButt here! This is my take on what Charmed life should have been like after Prue (Scumbag!) died. They all say deaths can change people…

Piper, who we all know as intelligent and shy is now a complete and utter BIMBO! She is still married to our favourite whitelighter who has given up the day job and taken up professional gambling, thanks to his invisible friend GambLOR (Must pronounce the "LOR" with a growl or feel his WRATH!) Leo also has another interest in…PAIGE! She has an IQ of 200 and has taken on the role as lead witch because she is the only one capable of the job. She intimidates everyone, especially Phoebe, because of her supreme intelligence and scary fashion sense! She is madly in love with Leo, but treats it like a schoolgirl crush due to her lack of experience in relationships. AN-I told you life was turned upside down! Piper however, being a bimbo, is completely oblivious to this fact! And now for everyone's "favourite" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge!) Phoebe! After Prue died she picked up a manic depression and ate herself to obesity! She weighs five-hundred pounds and after a mad dash to the fridge, she fell over her own stomach and hit her head on the stove. Leo could not heal her due to his "appointment" with "Dr GambLOR!" (remember the growl!) & now she is convinced she's a show girl from Las Vegas. Wyatt is still around and is a one year old genius and also the ruler of the underworld (don't tell Piper!) Nobody has noticed this except Paige who is plotting world domination against him (Don't tell Leo…he may place bets!)

**Of wooing Bellies and secret lusts.**

**SCENE: Fade up on Manor which, funnily enough, Piper has just had painted lilac to match her new nail polish. A mysterious man lurks outside with a pair of binoculars…no wait, that's just Darryl peeking again! We zoom into the living room where we see Leo sitting on the sofa and screaming in frustration.**

Leo: DIE WYATT DIE!!!!

Piper skips in, admiring her newly painted nails (They are now pink- the painters will be earning a lot of money this week). She stops and turns to Leo with a confused look.

Piper: What are you doing you silly Billy?

Leo: I'm killing Wyatt!

Pipe's eyes widen like saucers

Piper: But you'll get your wonderful plaid shirt messy! And tonight is when I was gonna take you and show you off to the girls.

Wyatt suddenly looks up with an irritated expression on his face and turns to face his mom. His voice is about ten times deeper than Leo's and for some reason he is English

Wyatt: Don't worry mother, we were playing video games. And by the way dad, you owe me five dollars.

Before Wyatt can grab the money from Leo's back pocket, Paige saunters in wearing plaid spandex. Leo starts to drool. Piper stares aimlessly at her knee. Wyatt flames out unnoticed.

Leo: isn't she beautiful GambLOR?

GambLOR: (we hear only a high pitched squeak, but Leo understands it) No.

Leo: How _dare_ you think that about her?

Leo starts kicking and punching the air around him.

Leo: I'm sorry GambLOR, I can't stay mad at you. You're the only thing in my life I love more than Paige.

Paige giggles whilst Piper continues to stare at her knee

Piper: How does it bend so easily? I don't even want it to and it is!

Paige: Piper you dim-witted moron: That's _my_ knee!

Piper: Oh yeah! But you really need to shave your legs…

Paige: I'm wearing a spandex suit you imbecile! Anyway, I found out something about fatso over there.

Paige motions towards the door where Phoebe is squeezing her way through

Phoebe: I may be fat but I can still hear you!

Paige: Did you just defy me?

Phoebe gulps and starts shaking in fear. The house starts shaking with her.

Phoebe: I'm sorry Paige!

Paige: You will be!

Paige turns back to the rest of her family with a smile plastered on her face. She snorts, pushes her glasses up her nose and continues from where she left off.

Paige: Anyway… She wanted to practice the cancan- yes she is still going through that phase- so I had to hold her belly for her so that she could lift her legs. As I began to lift the first layer I heard this strange noise, sort of like a "wooooooooo" and I realised it was the sound of air escaping from between the layers of fat.

Leo: GambLOR and I bet you ninety-seven cents that it doesn't!

Paige: Why only ninety-seven you sexy piece of man hunk history?

Leo: It's all we had left…Leo fans himself with his hand like a damsel in distress oh woe is me!

Paige walks over to the doorframe where Phoebe is still squeezing her way through and lifts up a layer

Phoebe's flab: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOOOOO!

Leo & GambLOR: DAMN IT!

Leo and GambLOR run and hide in the basement.

Piper: Eew! Wait let me try! Piper lifts up her incredibly low cut, extremely tight tanktop to reveal a flat stomach Aw sorry Phoebs! I have no fat! Look at my perfectly toned body- not that I'm trying to rub it in or anything…maybe I could try it with my really really big boobs.

Piper proceeds to squeeze her boobs together, even more than her wonder bra is squeezing them already and sighs dramatically.

Piper: Aww! It doesn't work! Ooh, I know- I'll take off my bra!

Darryl (from outside the living room window) YES!!!!!

Wyatt flames in and glares at Piper

Wyatt: Young child in the room. There will be no removing of bras in here!

Darryl: DAMN YOU WYATT! DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!

Wyatt: If you insist.

Wyatt begins to flame out but is stopped by Piper

Piper: Help me! My baby's on fire!

Wyatt: No mother, I was just flaming out.

Phoebe: But shouldn't you be orbing? That's what Leo used to do until he lost his powers in a bet! I told him that I never loose at snap!

Phoebe orbs out

Paige: Well that should be the case if genealogy takes its toll.

Wyatt: Well Aunt Paige, Leo isn't exactly my father, is he mom?

Piper: Shhhhhh! Don't tell her about Cole!

Wyatt: Cole's my father!? I was just fooling with you!

Piper: Damn it!

Paige: This could be useful…MWAHAHAHAHA!


End file.
